From: Kundan_Fun

Hi,
I'm Kundan. I've already sent you some messages & it's been so long that I'm waiting for your reply. I'm telling you I've tried so many people to be my friend, but nobody is atleast a friend of mine. I'm interest in friendship only. Please don't neglect me, if you get this message. You can even reply me with negative response, but i want you to mail me aleast one time.
Please let me know, can we be friends or not? Please. Please mail me on this id or XXXXXX.XXXXXXXX@gmail.com. After this mail, I won't irritate you with my mails, but I'll be heartly waiting for your reply.

Good Bye

Okay, I'm feeling seriously bad for this guy. Which is why I won't totally ream him.....Heartly, at least

From: Dumb_AK

it would be nice to hear that u looking for some intelligent one .would u like to st mine?.... :)

Sorry, WHAT!? You'll need to translate....

Oh my mistake...I wana tell would u like to test my intelligence.... :)


Is this a second-generation euphemism that takes up the baton where 'prove your love' leaves off?

From: zzz943atrediff

hey seems to b a girl havin sum aderalin...well u knw most of the ppl who can go on to become good buddies donot become so because of lack of reply or lethargicness from one side...so would u let my ''HI'' die down.....:)


lets c...

lolzz..cntct me if u like ma prfile

Pfft... the word is 'lethargitude'...

From: Mann_1055

are you butter? or chicken?
i love both.
by
M

From: Juggydesh

...outa curiosity... 'labrador' means?....:)

JFGI

From: Sidd_Yokos

I dont like to waste time if u think u shud talk with me send me ur yahoo id here if u dont hv yahoo id create 1 4 me bye tc

From: Vivon

hi whats up? will u be my frend

The pet rock died?

From: Smart4u

Hai
A very Good Morning to you

How r u, hope you are doing very well and enjoying the life. I am Ronnie this side. I am looking for a true/caring/loving freind. Just joing this net work last day. And i hope i will be able to make good freinds over here. Hope you are also looking for the same. If u like to be a friend of mine. Please reply me back

Many thanks & have a nice day


Ronnie

From: Lovemate4u

care for fun friendship relationsip and complete privacy

Yeah I like hiding my friends. It's like green asparagus grows to be white asparagus if it's grown in the absence of sunlight? Friends turn into.... Mmmm... lets find out...

From: NRP Rahul

hi XXXXXXXXXX

Next message reads...
hi call me on XXXXXXXXXX

So I reply: You know what I do to strangers who provide me with thier phone numbers? I hand thier numbers over to all those horrible people selling credit cards? Yeah..... Them.

I particularly detest people doing that.

thanks honey !

i already have 8 credit cards and i buys lots of free stuff bcoz of them.

i always submit fake docs inorder to get those.

ur help really appreciated.

"Jo bhi hota hai achche ke liye hota hai"--aaj samajha

main meri life bahut enjoy karta hoon---especially sexually

thanks

Funny how some people's mails scream VIRGINNNNN

From: Shahid_Taco

Hieee...ur Id's freekin me out ....lagta hai jaa ke Butter chicken khaana he padenga... so0 hey ive got ur profile in my Match List..
wat say u ...Wanna be palz..

I reply: Sorry, but I don't think we'd have too much in common. Good luck with your search!

Don't u think ur being too judgemental?? i am quite compromising when it comes to friendship...give it a thought.....

compromising.... mmm

From: Sweetdrops

Hai Butterchicken.. what a nice name you have selectd! well the most favourite dish for is really BUTTERCHICKEN honey... thats YOU.. I am 37 yrs lad working abroad and wanna eat sorry have friendship with you..You wanna?

Do you guys come out of a mold or something?!

From: RomanticBoy_29

hiiii

sweet heart how ru ???? i m a guy from mumbai. would u like to be my frnd??
i am online now pls reply

bye

3 hours hence....
hiiiiii

sweet gal how r u ?? i m raj from mumbai can we be frnds??

my cell number is XXXXXXXXXX. what is ur cell number? giv me a call.

bye n take care

From: Genius_Genius

Hi

That's it... hi. This, from GeniusSquared! Still waters must run deep.

From: I_Am_Andy_11

hey whatz up????
i am XXXXX XXXX too stay in mumbai. Am a new user to this site and was browsing through and saw ur pic. U look really cute so thought it would be good to know you.
Please let me some thing about ur self and feel free to ask me anything

My profile has a rather extensive 'about me' section. Feel free to talk about anything interesting you see there. Please don't insult my intellect with wanting to be friends with me on the basis of how i look.

hey the first thing i noticed on ur profile was ur pic so said u look cute. i cked ur profile but i don t see if u ve mentioned ur real name or where exactly do u work or where do u stay, so if u could plez let me know that.
by the way i work for a subsidary of the allianz group called euler hermes as a deputy manager and i stay in mahim.

looking forward to ur reply

From: Jagdih

hi friend
i hope u fine
i want u as my best friend
its ok with u
pl reply me on
XXXX123@gmail.com or
XXXXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com
jagdish naik
jag

Nothing sexier than a man with an alias

Profile Plumage: Goldi_Looks

Hi!

Nice to see you all. I spent good time of my life in running after studies and career. but i think all is not lost so here i am.... looking for something where i do not need to use the mind [:)]

What I'm doing with my life

So far i am just following what people say is necessary to be successful in life....
but this is not exiting any more......
i think you can understand why ??

I'm really good at

i can make anyone smile....
i can talk about anything in this world....
i am a good listener

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

my face

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

The Alchemist
The Gladiator
Enrique
Bryan Adams
The Doors
Green day
John Denver

Five bucks gets you ten, this guy's listed all the books he's EVER read, and has heard only one song by each artist. Okay a whole album of Bryan Adams.

From: DevMahajan

after three lousy long years of first having glimpsed "Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can't lose." -Bill Gates, in the contrapunto section on the top left of the front page of The Times of India, I finally translated it to 'Pehle log bida uthaane se darte hain, phir chhoddne se darte hain.'[people(any life form) first fear long or short ventures, and in the darned case they ever get hooked to any, they fear wrongly ending it.]' How's that? Take that! Muwahahahaha. um.... eh? (with a courage the cowardly dog crescent /\ eyebrowed grin)

From: Handsome_

Sub:

Hey Kewl babe!

Hi there,

You look LOVELY! We can surely SPEED UP the SPEED DATE.

Gimme a BUZZ on 98X XXX XXXX

cheers

Amit

Kamal_18984

Sub:

hii dop reply

hii,

i am from vadodara and i want to do causal sex would u like to meet for having casual sex.. do reply me

Profile Plumage

Sivagar

33 / m / straight / Single

I am a tourist guide, in india, and want gf

My self-summary

i am a tourist guide in india i am serching a dreem lady for me who can make a famaly with me but first we have to know eatchouther well and if things will be gud between us we can sit and think about our futucher that means first i want a short term realation then we have to disite for longe term realation my chat id is (XXXXX.XXXXXX@hotmail.com)(XXXXX.XXXXXX@yahoo.com) we can chat on that beter

What I'm doing with my life

i work heard BEC I LOVE MY WORK I LOVE TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND I LIKE TO MAKE GUD FOOD FOR FRIENDS AND I ENYOY MY LIFE AS MUTCH I WANT BEC HUMAN LIFE COMES ONLY ONE I DO WANT TO KEEP MY FRIENDS REALATIVEL AND NEAR ONE HAPPY BUT I NOT FOUND A LIFE YET PATNER FOR ME WHOOM I CAN SHAIER MY FEELINGES I CAN GO ANY PART OF COUNTRY IF I FOUND A REAL SOLE MATE TO REST OF MY LIFE

I'm really good at

I AM GUD IN MAKEING NEW FOODS FOR FRIEND ARANGING PARTY CRARING NEAR ONES AND REALY I AM A GUD BODY MASAGER AND I KNOW HOW TO MAKE WOMEN HAPPY BEC I HAD A GF BEFOR BUT SHE DYED IN A ROAD ACCEDENT BEFORE 5 YEARS BUT NOW I AM SERCHING A GF AGAIN BEC I FEEL LOLANY AND NOW I WANT A PATNER WHOOM I CAN SHAIER ANY THING

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

my eves and my voice I AM HOT ON BED THAT I AM NOT SAYING THAT WAS THE WORDS OF MY EX GF SHE ALWAYS SAY U KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT ON BED

My favorite books, movies, music, and food

comeady and 3x movies rock nonveg

The six things I could never do without

my car my cell my pen laptop hankey and my underwear

I spend a lot of time thinking about

gud for my friends and how to keep my friends and realatives happy my work and and keep my gusts happy who come to travile india

On a typical Friday night I am

i like dansing with my friends in my home and a nice party and make some gud food for them AND IF THEY WANT I CAN MASAGER THEIR BODY TO FEEL THE REALAX AFTER A HEAVY DRINK

You should message me if

u can masage me if u like my profile and if we can be friends i can travile u whole india

From: kvijay

From: kvijay

wana friendship with u...

Response: Padosan

wat hav got 2 hav frnsp most days i tak kutta out on walk by buttiful highway . u got 2 eva do this? TWICE A DAY. NINE TIMES A DAY. hate it so much, haram haram haram! dun no how to fraansp mostly bc gt so much of this ants pants shakey shakey fever. neva can sit still LOL

From: kvijay

o.k. dear nice to read ur mail..
like ur ...something..language
anyway my email is
##@yahoo.com
byeeeeeeeeee
apni picture to laga do, aur friendship se aap se karunga hi ...

testi plumage

A little explaination is in order here, this plumage wasn't for metrimonial (sic) reasons however..it is plumage never the less.

hi friends........Great man is my best friend....we make lot of fun when we r together......now we are miles apart...our frndship started with a small cigaratte()...i feel very lucky to have such a friend-----a little bit naughty(he imitate people very well),a little bit serious,a litttle bit funny (i still remeber when he was caught in final xam by sir for maal practising... funniest incident in my life) hahahaha , he is a good cook,good looking guy,hardcore fan of NAAG..........Great Man always be the same and U R PERFECT by all means.............................Hey i forgot to say something "NO ONE IS 100% PERFECT" .................

and again:

me writing abt my broooooooo.oh my god pls giv me 100 hands to type.he i s a cool and a helpful man.and always with a cute little smile on his face.he is really a person of humanity and so onnnnnnnnn.if i write much abt my bro many stupid eyes may fall on him and he may hav disturbances in his life.so i dont want tht to happen.but i can say one thing tht he is a charming guy and an all rounder.

From: NithinRajPalal

heyya!
it would be amazingly wonderful if we could exchange some mails
and get to know each other! I guess i am sending a message to you for the second time. Sorry if i am disturbing, but you can send me some sort of reply.
you know there are hundreds and thousands of words in the english language.
care to use some.
regards, hopefully your new friend : nithin raj palal

I replied that we don't seem to have anything in common... Would he care to shed light on why he thinks we would get along?

i have no clue myself....
tc

Then, his better nature prevailed and to give me a better feeling of closure, this mail arrives:
bonjour,

i have always shed my clothes; never light.
i like butter chicken long back; now i hate it. too much butter never good for life.
i like writing mails the classic way.
for marriage you always try to look for the particular kind of girl you wanna get married to, you call it type.. my type your type.
for pen-pals or email pals i guess there is no type.
if you like exchanging messages do that.... otherwise say bye and go away.
why stupid questions like some traditional indian girl afraid of coming out of some pseudo closet.. come on aren't you brave enough to disclose you sexuality.
now just goddamn come out of age-old cultural & moral hypes...

regards,
nithin

Openly bisexual=friendslut? I feel like I'm letting down the Cause!

From: Sexcboy

sexcboy
Heyy how you?? just saw your profile so thought id add you.. by the way u need to change your pic, kareena kapoor cant be used as your pic :PP

padosan
i got 2 crazee scar over left eye like dragon warrior lol so i dont wana shohw on line's!

sexcboy
heyy i didn't quite understand your message.. sorry.. tc

From: Liionheart

hello Chicks,
I am writing to you because by your profile its seem that you can keep me interested stimulating my attention & creativity. let us see if you are the right candidate for me or just the 1- type mentioned below.
this is really tough for genuine guy like me to score over a right match girl
Because of 2 reason
1- is because of less genuine cases bombarding mail without knowing & planning anything aimlessly.

2- is
population of girls in Delhi(in India in fact!!) is very low,

add to it internet using population is still low i think only
60-70%(Dus ka DUM ..Salman khan)
and from remaining either 30%- 40% are previously engaged
10%-15% are not bold enough or educated enough
all that count down to nearly small percentage really for us..

you know demand supply curve.

so you are in demand.
but i am positive so positive that
i know you will reply this message ..
so waiting for your reply.
up till then

bye
stinky the talking socks

Stinky The Talking Socks? Your parents REALLY didn't want you, did they?
So the next morning, I get another mail:
hello chicks,
Its seems that my message can not catalyst enough chemical reactions in your brain, and cannot excite the neurotransmitter to travel.which chemical do you need now??
Or
external force of my message cannot disturb the equilibrium of your system and was resisted by all the frictional forces & cannot generate the acceleration for the relationship. how do we tackle this problem ?
Or
Value of my message is not > or = value for the coefficient of resistance of your mind. what is the solution??
Or
My innermost feeling for developing the beautiful relationship with you is gasping for breath. will i get the fresh air & my life??
Or
Incentive offered by my relationship in exchange of your relationship preferences is not what you want?? you know that three type of incentives Monetary Moral & prestige which one/combination you want??
Or
Chronological event in your past life does not had shaped your life so that it can not accommodate me in your present & future event.Do you want any event to follow for making our unison??
Though i can go on & on but i fear it can bore you.

so last one question- will write reply of this message??
or
will you tell me your reply??
Guess the difference between last two questions..

bye
stinky the talking socks

6 hours later, still devoid of response from me....
bark bark, Bitch,
First if you want be a dog just paste one more photograph with your other photograph in your profile but of a Labrador your real self)??
Second thing why coaching class in Bihar only why not other better places like..(i will not suggest you now..) but is anything wrong with Bihar??(i don't mind that, but want to know are you degrading Bihar or praising Bihar by writing this?)
Note: This refers to the bit in my profile that offers to sign people up for MBA coaching in Bihar if they send me their contact details.....
Now third thing i do also have a varied interest like origami
have you tried it... try to eat Doing headstand...posting letter to myself by snailmail.. and recommendation s on books ahha i love that portions can give you hell lot of that stuff(surely i had read all that stuff)....for that reply me..

And last lets hear a story-
A man has a strong belief that "a person is responsible for his or her actions." As a result, he not only dismisses certain ideas, but offensive also. For example, when he hears about a study showing that most criminals have a deficiency of copper in their bodies, he is annoyed and assumes it is an attack on the idea of personal responsibility. "They're just helping people excuse their bad behavior," he says.

So you are searching for friend who can reinforce your idea on life, philosophy & interest then i am not the right person(but claiming otherwise on your profile!!).
But if you want to broaden your(& my also) horizon investing your ego & time in me & my thoughts then we can share some good, intimate moments & ....
And who knows what happens next to our relationship then??

now it's lots of barking for now

Bye
Stinky waits for response..

(Stinky, the talking socks)

Stinky The Talking Socks.... 'Nuff said!

From: KrispyKool

Hi there..
how r u.
i hope i am not irritating you..but i would like to be your friend.
One more thing can u help me on ,how to use okcupid.

Take care..byee

Buddy, if you didn't know how to use it, sending me this message would be a tad difficult, wouldn't you agree?

From: Heart_Cruiser

i am basically frm delhi...n here in pune for the last 4 years...i stay alone...so u are most invited 2 give me company...lol!
how bout u???

From: ZianZianN

wat ya wanna know bout me....
i smoe n booze very occasionally,,,,,,i luv partyin on neday except for a saturday....(i dont prefer commercial music u see....)
i prefer hip hop rnb trance n ya punjabi 2....

From: LovenSoul

wats d state of ur hairs right now? are they long or short?

From: Suji81

hey,

I am bachler, staying alone in mumbai.

I am lonely & need good friend

mail me at XXXXXXXXX@yahoo.com

Sujit

From: Nitinjee

hi...........
hi... wat is this quiver all about???
hi can we chat... u online....
i received this quiver from u ????

So 'hi', is like a punctuation mark to begin sentences with? I always felt they dangled!

From: PerpetualTalker

Butterchicken hahaha....somehow that name sounds so chic.

btw I tried my best goin thru ur profile..just too big. Will rather hear it in person ;)

Selection Mechanism, dear PerpetualTalker

From: Satarkar54

morningg butter
i think ur soft like butterr


r u dearrrrrr